Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

HELL
EXPLAINED     BY A
CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on aUniversity of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and
an actual answer turned in by a student.    

The answer by
this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have

the pleasure of enjoying it as well :  

 

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?  

Most of the students wrote proofs of their
beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.    

 One student, however, wrote the following:  

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time.  So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.  I
think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.  

Most of these religions state that, if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.  Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.  With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.  Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that, in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as
souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:  

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.  

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than
the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.  

So, which is it?  

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already frozen over.  The corollary of this theory is that since Hell
has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of
a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, 'Oh, my
God.'   

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN
A+. 

LMAO!! Thanks dad!