A heads up from the management

Due to the number of spam comments I'm receiving on this blog, I've had to put the comment moderation into effect. I've also tweaked the settings so that only Google accounts may comment. I'm sorry for the inconvenience this may cause. Hopefully, sometime in the future I will be able to relax the security settings.

Thank you for your understanding in this matter.

Friday, March 28, 2008

PMS jokes

You know a woman has PMS when.....

* She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo.

* She considers chocolate a major FDA food group. (you mean it's not??)

* She puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom.

* She's developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360 degree circles.

* She retains more water than Lake Superior.

* She denies she's in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her semiautomatic and "chambers one."

* She buys you a new T-shirt -with a bulls-eye on the front.

* You ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table and she says,"All I ever do is give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING?"

* She enrolls in the Lizzie Borden School of Charm.

* She orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken McNuggets,and then mauls the manager because they're out of Diet Coke.

Why do women call it PMS?
Because mad cow disease was already taken!

PMS is something that makes a woman act once a month like a man acts every day.

What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

The 10 Definitive Signs of PMS are:
01. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
02. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
03. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
04. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
05. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, 'How's my driving? Call 1 800 ****"**.'
06. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
07. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
08. You're counting down the days until menopause.
09. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

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